Creating ORBITs: Ongoing Relationships Beyond Individual Transactions - Part 1

2 minute read

Amongst the many interactions I have with people week-in and week-out, I’ve realized through the space-time continuum that the most meaningful ones remain to be those that are relational, and not simply transactional.

By the natural laws of my human nature, I tend to gravitate toward people that I can connect with on a level beneath the atmosphere.

I often think of the reason why I am able to connect with some people more than others, and why some are able to connect with me better than others. The laws I’ve seen at work rule out the need for a 12 dimensional string theory to articulate the reality.

Amidst the beautiful complexity within the universe of our daily interactions, one thing is beyond theory to me: In order to create a thriving social solar system, we need to create ORBITs - Ongoing Relationships Beyond Individual Transactions.1

Creating Authenticity

There’s something amazing in authentically connecting with another person on a level that goes beneath the superficial How are you? or Did you watch that Warriors game last night? These kinds of interactions are like stars passing through the night sky. They are fun to watch, but they usually don’t leave any lasting impact (à la Chicxulub).

On the other hand, when I leave an interaction with a deposit of substance, I leave satisfied - sharpened, encouraged, inspired, uplifted, motivated, and excited. An orbital interaction causes my oceans to rise in waves of inspiration and it stirs up currents of motivation.

But an orbital interaction can only occur when two bodies are abiding by the natural laws of relational physics.

Tug o War
An orbit in action - Qualitative Reasoning Group Northwestern University[^qrg]

The first law to establishing an orbital relationship is it to be authentic. Yes, there’s no portal guns to building ongoing relationships. It’s one of those things in life that simply takes a deposit of time and gravitational energy coupled with a heart of substance.

And I guess… A bit of authenticity too.

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.

  • Mother Teresa

Creating Trust

The transactional capacity of a relationship is proportional to the capacity of trust within that relationship. To the second power.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist (or in this day and age, a big data analyst), to realize that relationships can only move as far as the trust can be established, and only as fast as that trust can be nurtured and maintained.

Every body develops an inertial distrust of others during the long, hard journeys of life through the galaxy. So it’s imperative that trust is created.

The second law to establishing orbital relationships is to offer the other body a reason to be trusted. A sacrifice - some act of good will or generosity - to show you have an authentic interest in the relationship. Sometimes it takes a bit of your own gravitational energy to achieve an orbit.

Trust must be earned. And that requires a deposit of your trust.

A man who trusts nobody is apt to be the kind of man nobody trusts.

– Harold Macmillan

Creating Relationship

With authenticity and trust in full-blast and in Tesla’s Autopilot mode, we can safely, and more quickly, navigate our interactions to healthy, ongoing relationships that might just orbit Mars.

The casual scientist may attempt to disregard these laws governing relational orbits, but I’m beyond the Milky Way with transactional relationships and ready for orbital interactions that are beyond this galaxy.



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